Retrospect 2009

**2009 in Retrospect**

This years highlights were….
 uh….Mexico’s pig flu epidemic, completing my first year in a foreign country in one piece, renewing old friendships and making new ones, the engagement of two of my sisters, bringing a new guy on in the shop, the support from my family, ** i’m gonna be an auntie***, having the opportunity to share our immigration story on Change.org, spending the best time at Cervantino with great friends, Moosecake and Little One finally fitting in at school and bringing home amazing grades, moving out of our crappy little house into a perfect one, taking part in some amazing tattoo expos, and throwing our shop’s 1st anniversary with  a great turnout!

Last year,

I gained…… a new profession, a little more patience and an infatuation with blogging.

I lost…… my desire to go back, our home in the States, and my grandfather… who taught me the hard knocks, whether he intended to or not.

I stopped…… smoking, being afraid of trying new things, making excuses for other people and myself, allowing others to tell me whats “right” or “wrong”, giving a shit what others think.(most of the time.)

I started…..taking a little initiative with tattooing, sketching more, taking better care of my health and communicating in spanish regardless of how stupid i sound.

I was hugely satisfied by….. building the relationship between Moosecake and I.

I was embarrassed that…. AGAIN, I got tipsy and hubby had to carry me to the hotel,  and the food here STILL “gets”  me.

And frustrated by…..  my intolerance of other people and their shit in general, thinking that i have to please everyone, and that I can get very mean when I argue with my husband.

Once again, I…… pissed many people off , still swear like a damn sailor, and failed to discover a way to handle someone who continually pissed me off.

Once again, I did not…..wear a bikini, or even a bathing suit at the beach, feel sexy, really try to excercise, give everyone my all,  and tell my mom how much i appreciate all that she has done for me.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and me this January is…not much really, red hair and more tattoos.

The biggest psychological/emotional difference…..I’ve come to realize that not I,  you,  nor my husband can control everything, coming to terms with my emotions and realizing that it’s okay to miss home and what we had together,

Why did I spend even two minutes…….worrying about what others say or think about me, wishing I was or looked like someone else,being angry over things out of my control.

I should have spent more time……enjoying the little things I take for granted.

My biggest regret from 2009 is……. not attending my grandpa’s funeral. 😦

Next year I am going to………attempt to do everything that i’ve ever wanted., tattoo with mas huevos, truly live every day in expectation that it could be the last, be more tolerant of others limitations …. some people are just slow…, help others who are going through the same journey that i am …. and speak Spanish.

This last year went by fast.  It’s kinda nice to look at my life in retrospect… with the idea that I also have the opportunity to leave it all behind. In 2010, I have the opportunity to start again and create my life how I want it, how it should have been. I get to help my kids pursue their new lives here in Mexico and accomplish what they envision. This next year will be amazing. There will be new opportunities and experiences, doors will open and close, but we have the chance to mold our next year as we see fit. We get to change our priorities and become closer as a family. I’ve really enjoyed reading all of your blogs and found many inspiring throughout this last year. Thank you all. I wish everyone success, love and happiness this new year….

Dolla Dolla Bill Y’all…..

Started out like this….

Moved here…..

and ended up there.

Or maybe not in that particular order… but all were a part of yesterday’s crazy, crazy times. I met up with quite a few kats yesterday, starting off with Efran, one of hubby’s homies from waaaaay back in the day. This kat paints cars and had painted our old ride with a clean ass flake and the base flames on our truck. If we ever do decide to buy that 58 impala that’s been around town in GDL, he’s def. the guy to come down and paint it! He’s amazing!

I met up later, after checking out bridesmaid dresses and doing lil sis’ hair, with those crazy kats who spent Cervantino with us in Guanajuato. It was Tupa’s birthday, and what could be better than starting off with a bottle?

Remember last time, starting with a bottle? You would think I learned the consequences of mixing drinks… but no. My liver isn’t speaking to me. Starting at the Fireside Lounge, we started with a scorpion. I thought it would be those flaming ones from Mexico… but was greeted with Rum soaked gummy worms instead. Wine, cocktails, tequila and beer summed up our night, ending the fun at the Men’s Club. With all our dolla’ bills lined up, we were a bit disappointed to see the D-list lined up on a Monday nite. The night ended with Biscuits and Gravy back at the casino… and I drove safely home.

and the cop car?

ha. that was Efran’s project for the day. I took the photo for old times sake. Trying to forget, err…  remember the last time I was in the back of a po-po.

Crazy times in Reno.

What happened to an old skool spanking?

Everyday, I think about our move to Mexico. I wonder how our journey will in time affect our relationships, family, and children’s future. It sucks that the move has made it more difficult for my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents and extended family. They have lost their childhood friends, their customs, their comfort zone, their ability to joke around, and just be normal kids. The pressure has been brought on early in life. They are foreigners in another country, where kids, like all kids, can be mean. They are forced to adapt, learn another language, be stared at (not that we make that any easier in a conservative country), and still be children and grow up. Little One is adapting. He doesn’t understand the difference in cultures, what is allowed and what isn’t, but he’s picking it up, slowly but surely. Moosecake is doing wonders. Six months ago, we considered sending her back up to the States… but after reading the success in Moving-Kids-to-Mexico’s family , I had hope for my dear child. Four months ago, we put Moosecake in a spanish tutor. During summer, she went every day…. drove me nuts. She has now earned Student of the Week, two weeks in a row, top of her class and is 1 of the 3 students, competing to be the best reader and participate in some school event. It’s her second language!!! She has done wonders… in a short time… when she was ready. And I am so proud of her.

I swear, I only had to starve her once… or twice.

Which brings me to our next point. I still wonder how the significant difference in cultures will affect our kids as they get older. Will they pick up the traditional values in Mexico? the Machismo? all those Catholic virtues? Then you throw in the apparent “freedom” here, where your personal security also takes a hit, especially if it involves contact with narcos or our fabulous justice system here. But does that even really affect our kids safety? I feel pretty safe here in GDL.

Even violence in children isn’t really apparent here in Mexico. Today on CNN, a 15 year old was lit on fire for telling his dad who stole his bike. The police investigator said that we need to teach these kids that this is wrong. THEY KNOW IT’S FUCKING WRONG. We don’t hear of any of that here in Mexico. No school shootings, gang problems, stabbings, kids on fire?!? Public schools here, you might have fist fights… but the private schools, which are so common, is NOT tolerated. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gotten little notes from school because Little One likes to play rough, like a boy, and how even that little bit of energy is pacified asap. If the U.S’s education system is wonderful…. then why are we still producing products like this or this daily?

Maybe we should go back to old skool discipline. Revive ‘soap in the mouth’ and ritual spankings…. hot sauce too. That was a good one. Remind kids of their manners and how to correctly speak to adults. When your kid is being an ass, whoop their ass UNTIL they learn not to do it again. If your kid is a smart ass, wash the words right out of their mouth…. okay, so maybe I’m pushing it…but I do remember a fondness for DIAL. But we DO need to bring back some level of discipline…. for the betterment of our children. I don’t ever want to experience the daily fear of sending my children to school.

Happy Birthday to me…. and all you other crazy Libras out there!!!

And more. And more. And…..

Yeah. I know. I’m a crappy blogger… one who posts way past due, when it’s not cool anymore. This is our busy time of year. With all the tattoo expos, family, school, kids, work… everything hits at once.

I did get the chance to hit up Mexico City. Everything that you don’t want to happen, happened. The energy was really overwhelming. SOme of the sickest tattoo artists from around the world showed up. It was a good turnout. In fact, one of our good friends, Rick Clark, from back home (www.myspace.com/rickclarktattoos) met us there, along with the Lowrider Arte crew, Horiyoshi family from Japan, and the best tattoo artists in Mexico. btw… I also got 3 new tattoo machines out of the trip. Thank you hubby!

Of course, when you put a bunch of rowdy tattoo artists in a room with some booze… crazy things start happening… uh… like getting robbed by strippers, almost killed in some random parking lot, passing out on top of the pyramids, battles in the bathroom, having some cracked out hotel worker start smoking out in our bathroom, taking off his clothes, stealing us coffee cups so we could have a “seminar” at 3 am…AND stalking us later at the tattoo show. WTF???

Don’t forget… we were clearly working during the entire trip. 😉



We spent 5 days in Mexico City. We hit up Teotihuacan, a few museums, the zocolo…and still had time for a cleansing. Hubby didn’t want to join in… apparently, he thought one wasn’t good enough…and he wasn’t about to pay for three!

Hubby also gave two seminars that turned out awesome. He also tatted down a few other artists.

Crazy times.. We’ll be ready for next years expo!

Buenos Dias.

Bienvenidos. Yo soy Melissa. El es Indio. El es mi sancho….

Today was the first day of Moosecake’s spanish class. Dia de Saludos. Dos horas, dos veces cada semana para los siguientes meses….which Little One and I will be sitting in on, esp. when they get to the “pasado” part. As much as I hope this helps her out and catch up next year…sitting in the back of the room…. I suddenly felt 15 years old again. Back in the day, sitting in the back of spanish class…pinche oraciones…If only I would have paid more attention in class. No, there I was, hiding in the back, hanging with my friends, passing…err… notes, flirting with a cute lil homie, who spoke fluent spanish but still managed to fail the class. All that time in high school…wasted. No plans on leaving the country… so why bother.

Oh… but don’t think I stopped there. I took spanish again in college. I had the accent down solid and the teachers passed me. Great,then… bummer now.

Daydreaming once again, (damn) a decade later, I’m sitting next to my 10 year old, in wretched spanish class…still fidgeting around, writing my damn blog, *I hope we get a break soon…
Maybe I should buckle down with my ‘lil Moosecake and take this seriously. Something tells me that maybe this time, it might be necessary.

Don’t fall in and die.

Oh yeah…. one more fantabulous, er…creepy thing….

Hubby and Suegro walked over together to pick up the kiddos from school. The gobierno is en proceso of tearing Avenida Vallarta to shreds, redoing the plumbing, electrical wires, everything in preparation for the some big soccer game next year. Ya heard of it? Anywhoo, the sidewalks were blocked off by some really ‘intimidating’ cones so that people wouldn’t get close and ya know, fall in due to curiosity. There was a guy flagging people by the giant holes, and suegro started joking around. “Don’t fall in and die or they’ll need to pull YOU out.” of course, in the eloquency of espanol, it sounded a lot nicer. The guy, in response, “oh no. They already pulled him outta there.” WHAT? “Yeah, they found a body buried and forensics came and took photos and removed his corpse.” Wow. Okay. There was a random dead guy buried under Avenida Vallarta in the Centro… for how long? Eww.

Then again, in the Centro, is there anything
normal?

I did get to do another tattoo today. I was a little freaked out because my client was a little jumpy and couldn’t sit still… but I managed to clean up the lines and get it done in a timely fashion. What I am even more excited about was the two nipple piercings I had the opportunity to do. I’ve only done them once and that was about a year ago…on dear ole hubby. This lady requested that I do them. Doh?!? I took it like a pro…. and they came out absolutely perfect. She was thrilled…and so was I… and so was her now horny husband.

Despite my accomplishments, hubby again managed to steal the show. Nah, I’m kidding. He has been a part of a book about Chicano Artists, by Eddy Reyes. It’s been going on for awhile, but the section about hubby was never completed after hubby was deported. Well, Eddy sent down a guy for a video interview supplement, photos of his work, and to well, check out the shop. The tattoo shop was full, and vibe was chill, accompanied by a familiar scene… Chicanos…homies…chisteando, pisteando …some of the things we now really miss. Despite the pressure of watching eyes, hubby managed to pull off a bad ass black and gray piece, “gangsta style”, that had everyone in awe. He’s really come along way with his art… and I think that we both know that this deportation, as sucky as it’s been, has probably helped us more than anything. It helped us recognize our strengths and opened our eyes to our faults. Here’s to hoping that things can only get better! Salud!!!

Hard Knocks. Doh!!!

The streets of Guadalajara come alive at night. My hubby and I celebrated our anniversary last night and decided to check out a restaraunt that we had seen on Discovery. We searched for a good while, getting lost on sidestreets and whatnot. Santo Coyote restaurant was definetely worth the effort. I highly recommend any visitor to Guadalajara to check this place out. The food was great… about 220 pesos a plate, the atmosphere was phenomenal, and the entertainment was there, but not overpowering. They had elaborate Mexican decor, Folklorico dancers, murals everywhere. At first, the waiters seemed kinda presumido, but start a conversation and they are more than willing to help you out. They gave us names and directions to other bars and clubs, places that hubby and I would want to check out. We enjoyed a bottle of wine and set forth to the next club.

We ended up, believe it or not, at an Irish pub. After a few beers, and starting to feel a little comfortable, I spotted, yup… DUFF beer. haha… from the Simpsons!!! Definetely had to have one. Hubby said it’s like Sam Adams, but I guess they make it here in Guadalajara. A few shots later, I asked the DJ to throw on some Michael Jackson, for old times sake, and he threw on the video and all. Rockin out with Hubby made the night worth it.

Last night was great. WIthout the kiddos, we had a night to flirt and play…. turning out like it was one of our first dates. I kinda pushed his boundaries a bit. While driving home, I threw on some cumbia and told him to pull over. I got out of the car and pulled him out. We danced in the streets. He was a little uncomfortable at first, but then went with it. We had so much fun, just going with it and being silly. I reminded myself again why I love him so much and why I married him. I don’t think the night could have got any better. We had a fabulous dinner, a transition at a pretty hip bar, had a Duff (have you had one???), got to listen to Micheal, danced in the streets……with the man I loved for the last seven years. Well, it almost did. After that, we kinda started making out in the car, like we were kids. Yup. and just like we were kids…. cops came. Not the cops in the States, but crooked Mexican cops. Pulled hubby out of the car… threatened to take us to jail, impound the truck everything. They even took my hubby’s wallet out of my hand and opened it up…. twice checking how much freakin money he had. I should have known better and hidden the damn thing. Hard Knocks. They emptied our wallet. Charging us 2000 pesos. Crooked sons of bitches. Nonetheless, I didn’t care. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I had the best time in the world with my best friend…. and then got quickly reminded that now I’m in Mexico.

Date with the Virgen anyone??

Filty. Take this picture and times it by a hundred. That’s how the libre road looked for miles on the way from Guadalajara to Leon. Yup. It’s manda time again. Every January, it’s time for the Church. Where believers make their way, walking, jogging, carrying crosses, their children, from Mexico City, Leon, and other small towns, to the little town of San Juan de Los Lagos. A little church with the Virgen. These people had made mandas…. a promise to God that if He helps them out, cures their kids, gives them something… then they will make the journey by foot to come and see the Virgin. Thousands of people flock every January… some carrying crosses, their children; abuelitas with their walking cane and their nieto by their side to help them walk. For some, it’s a good 18 straight walk through hills, rocks, etc…. For most, it’s a good 3+ days. It’s actually quite inspirational. These, mostly poor, faithful servants take a week off their work and devote their time to God. And the journey isn’t without it’s toll. Ambulances are on call. People pass out in the heat, muscles cramp, busses are needed to get people out. It’s not an easy task.

While I appreciate and admire the faith that these people carry, I don’t quite understand it. Maybe the mysteries of Mexico haven’t quite unrolled themselves yet. Most of these people walk for opportunity. So that God can help them out a bit. Right? They take a week off work, some traveling a long distance take a month off, to see the Virgen… but they leave behind a week or so’s pay, AND have to spend money for food, shelter, and gifts to leave behind. The cost is high for something not guaranteed. It saddens me. More is lost. And I feel like the poor, the sick, and the elderly are losing their chance to get ahead.

After the emotion wears off, and we’re driving to Leon, I notice the MILES of trash covering the roads. A foot or so thick, those people who set up camp, leave all their trash behind. Not in a trash bag even. Out in the fields. And what sickens me are those people that see this as an opportunity. These people set up cheap, filthy stands, selling bottled water, food, etc…. They sell the product and when they’ve hoarded their money, they take off… leaving the miles of trash behind. Well, hell, it’s not their mess… why should they clean it up?
Damn it. They make it. THey contributed. They made a profit. Shouldn’t they bear some of the responsiblity? Nope, why should they? It’s not their manda. And the walkers? They make this walk to better their lives.. but feel no shame in living in shit!!! Does this not go against the very idea?
Well, three days later, we did see some government workers clearing some of the mess. It irritated me nonetheless. The balance of religion and ethics. Or what would you call it? Old religion still has power over the old and uneducated. They don’t understand the ideas of basic business, profit, and marketing. They open hole in the wall tienditas and don’t put in light and wonder why they don’t make enough to survive. Who is at fault? The simple minded man? The Church? The government? SOMETHING needs to change.